The best way to achieve your goals is to stop focusing on them.
I've heard it my whole life.
To be 'successful', set goals.
To have a greater chance of achieving them, write them down.
But that's about where the wisdom ends.
No one told me that the above process is more like throwing a penny into a wishing well than a strategic battle plan for achieving results.
Goals are the results you want to achieve. They're the destination, the target in the far off distance.
Focusing on the destination is not going to get you there. It will not produce results.
It's only when you focus on your feet and the ground in front of you that you can begin to put one foot in front of the other.
That's the process, and it's what moves you forward toward your goal.
It's the process and systems and daily habits that produce the results. One small step after another.
Focusing on the process -- not the destination -- gets you to your goal.
Don't get me wrong. Goals are critical. Without them, you don't know which direction to head.
As the Cheshire cat says,
"If you don't know where you're going, any road can take you there."
Goals are great for setting direction and destination.
But systems are best for making progress.
It's only when you implement a system of continuous improvement that you will achieve your desired outcome (aka goal).
(For more on this, I highly recommend Atomic Habits by James Clear)
As moms, this can be especially difficult to do.
When children are young, our lives feel like a great big mess. There are no systems or processes, only survival.
Which is why it's even more important for us to create systems in our lives.
Systems provide stability. They provide hope. They provide a sense of 'self'.
They also provide a foundation for building ourselves.
Without systems and processes in place, we can never have (or find) the time to discover who we are.
When our lives lack systems we're constantly scrambling just to get through the day, and fall into bed exhausted wondering 'What did I even get done today?'
Systems provide framework, structure, and sanity.
They produce progress on our priorities and create space for achieving goals.
I resisted this as a young mother. I thought systems limited my freedom and were too confining.
But as an ambitious person with big dreams and goals, I now know that I need systems and processes to reach my ideals.
It's NOT possible without them.
You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. - James Clear